Sarah entered the room, dropped her thirty pound book bag on the bouch and threw herself onto the bed. It was three weeks into the semester and Allen was comping up to visit. Allen and Sarah had already been dating for a year. Most of that year however, was spent while they were both within three miles of each other. Last year, when Sarah and Allen had met, it was... well, awkward. They were both security rovers; they had met through their job actually. At the time they began their aquaintenceship however, Allen was otherwise attached to a far-removed girlfriend named Beth. She lived in Minnesota, two states away from their present location. At first they were friends. That’s how all of Sarah’s relationships start. Their supervisor, Mike, knowing that both Sarah and Allen had an interest in each other hinted that the two of them should get together. Allen wasn’t too quick to catch on though.

One lonely January day, Sarah was looking for a date to the winter formal, the Snowball.

“I want to go, because I’ll love getting to look all pretty and dressed up. I don’t have a date though. I don’t want to be lame and go by myself. Loser that I am, I did enough of that in grade school.”

“Don’t you have any girlfriends you can go with?” Allen asked her. Allen and Mike were sitting around the table with her after a security rover briefing. Thos usually consisted of seven guys and three girls shooting the just shooting the breeze so they could get paid for half an hour without having to get up.

“Not really,” said Sarah, “Most of my friends that actually go to these things are from the Swing Dance club, and they’ve already paired up with their dance partners.”

“You don’t have a dance partner?” asked Mike, “I find that hard to believe.”

“Well, I kind of have a dance partner, but he’s going out of town that weekend. Everyone else I know is busy.”

“You never know who’ll become available,” Mike said with a twinkle in his eye and half a smile on his lips. “The perfect date might be sitting right across from you and his only plans are to play video games on his Playstation all night.” Sarah glanced over at Allen.

“Are you talking about me? Did I tell you I’ve been on the Playstation a lot?” Sarah simply sighed and Mike sadly shook his head.

Allen did end up taking Sarah to the dance though, accompained by Mike and his fiance, Joyce. Their relationship developed from there with lunch meetings, evening get-togethers with Mike and Joyce, and midnight stops at each other’s rooms. Sometimes they would spend hours keeping each other’s company during the night shift. Anything to get together, just as friends, of course. Sarah wasn’t really sure why they made the transition from being just friends to dating exclusively, but she thinks it was hormones, combined with loneliness and excessive flirting.

Pretty soon, Sarah was spending nights at Allen’s room and Beth was no where in the picture. She could run towards the picture for miles and still not be within a solar system of it. Beth had stopped returning Allen’s calls two months before the clandestine meeting that cold night, so Allen and Sarah both believed it was safe to call Allen and Beth’s relationship dead on all sides.

That faithful night was crazy. It wasn’t real, was it? Well, it’s all a haze now…or is it….
………………………………

It was 12:00 at night on a Saturday. Neither Sarah nor Allen had to work. It was dark, cool, and the air was full of electricity. Sarah made her way to Allen’s room. She knocked on the door. A voice from inside invited her to come in and sit down.

Sarah sat down on the edge of the loft, on the side opposite of Allen. Her legs dangled six feet away from the floor. Those first floor rooms had tons of space to their ceilings. She sat there patiently while he made himself a hotdog in the microwave.

"You want one?"

"No thanks." Why was it so damn awkward? It's like even the walls know that I want to ask him out. Should I? Allen would be perfect for me, right? He likes staying up late, anime, video games.... He's a little messy, but we can work on that, can't we. It's probably because he lives by himself. I bet he's not this terrible at his home.

She stayed the whole night, talking of many things both boring and interesting to both of them. Before they knew it, they were sitting on the same bunk. Then they were wrestling. Then they were...lying next to each other. Around the 6:00 AM mark Sarah wanted to go to bed. Allen asked her to stay.

"On the other bed?" she asked.

"If you want to." Sarah, knowing full well that she didn't know what she was doing, climbed into the same bed Allen was in. The lights were off, and they were lying there in the darkness.

Oh god. Is this good or bad? I can't decide. I'm better than this, aren't I? I should just get out of bed. Sarah didn't move though, and soon Allen's hands were around her. He's so warm. Sarah snuggled closer. Fuck. I'll just do it. Sarah moved to kiss him...and she couldn't. Fuck again. Sarah looked at Allen’s face, into his eyes.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“I’d like that very much.” Then they did.

As her lips were pressed to his, Sarah thought to herself. What kind of answer was that? Oh crap, this isn’t a good idea. I should stop. Sarah broke away and looked at his face again. He was smiling. Well, he’s kinda cute. Maybe it’s okay…
………………………………

Sarah was smitten. She had gotten out of a two-relationship with her high school sweetheart (read: the only guy that looked at her with any interest in the whole school) six months before she started dating Allen. Looking back on it, Sarah was sure she hadn’t spent enough time alone with herself to fully recover from being so emotionally attached to someone for so long. Oh well, 20/20 vision, right?

Sarah and Allen had already proclaimed the “L” word within two weeks of the onset of their dating status. She told her friend Samantha about it the next day. The two were sitting in Sam’s dorm room, drinking hot chocolate.

“Whoa,” Samantha said, "That's really fast. That’s a lot faster than me and my fiance."

"I know." replied Sarah.

“Are you sure you should be rushing into something like this? I mean Allen is a nice guy and all, but…”

“I don’t know! I'm such a desperate loser, aren't I?"

"No, not really. Well, I guess you are if you regret saying that you love him so soon."

"I didn't say it first, he said it first. I just said 'I love you too.'" Sarah sighed into her hot cocoa.

"Are you happy?"

"I think I am. I'm not sure. Whenever I date a guy, it's always me who ends up asking. I hate that too. Anyway, after asking, then I get this sinking feeling in my stomach and I wonder if going out was such a good idea, or if it was my hormones getting the better of my desperate and lonely self."

"Sounds like serious doubts."

"It's not that he's a bad guy or anything, I just wonder, you know?"

"Why don't you tell him that you were wrong for asking him out?"

"When I'm around Allen though, it's like everything is all better and we're supposed to be together. The second I'm away from him though...I just wonder." Samantha hit her friend with a pink furry throw pillow.

"Well, quit your wondering and make up your mind." Sarah sighed into her hot chocolate again.

"I'll stick with him. Allen really is a nice guy, and when I'm actually with him everything is so right."

"Are you happy?" Sarah nodded her head in a firm decision.

"Yes." Samantha gave her one of those 'all right, if you say so' looks.

"Okay then."



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